Denture Queen - song titles that change as we age
Procol Harum: "A whiter shade of hair"
The Troggs: "Bald thing"
Johnny Nash: "I can't see clearly now"
Herman's Hermits: "Mrs. Brown you've got a lovely walker"
Rolling Stones: "You can't always pee when you want"
Commodores: "Once, twice, three trips to the bathroom"
Creedence Clearwater Revival: "Bad prune rising"
Marvin Gaye: "I heard it through the grape nuts"
Metallica - "Nothing ulcer matters"
Simon & Garfunkel: "The sound of tinnitus"
Abba: "Denture Queen"
The Who: "Talkin' about my medication"
The Slits: "Revenge of the pensioner slits"
The Verve: “The drugs work”
Roberta Flack: "The first time ever I forgot your face"
The Jaggs: "I've got my PIN number, written on the back of my hand"
Zombies: “He’s not all there”
Wham: “Don’t wake me up before you go go”
Moody Blues: “Don’t go now’
Leo Sayer: "You make me feel like napping"
Pink Floyd: “Wake up, you crazy diamond”
The Animals: “We’ve got to get out of this care home”
The Doors: “Light my pyre”
The Streets: “Wish I’d gone to church”
Blue Oyster Cult: “Fear of the reaper”
More contributions will be credited and welcome. In the interests of 'good taste', I've edited out Leonard Cohen's "No lung, Marianne", because Marianne died this year. "Blue" by Joni Mitchell was discounted because Joni's also heading for the Rainbow Bridge; anyway the titles are supposed to be changed - play by the rules. Thanks to Steve Booth from Aberdeen for sharing on Faceboak an original list of song titles changed by ageing issues.
Black humour in a similar '(You're so varicose) vein', to quote Carly Simon:-
Funeral songs – the ultimate box set