Drawers, knockers, a beanbag and plughole

Drawers, knockers, beanbag and plughole

60,000 pieces of furniture from the 2014 Commonwealth Games athletes’ village will be distributed by charities to families in Glasgow - a quirky, more suitable legacy than the demolition of the city’s Red Road tower blocks which had been originally proposed as a spectacle for the opening ceremony.

World champion Usain Bolt and home favourites Hannah Miley, Ross Murdoch and Eilidh Child were among the athletes who stayed at the village and used the items of furniture.

So I thought: ‘If Tracey Emin’s unmade bed is worth £1.6million, I’ll advertise four items on eBay.’ Obviously it was all a misguided joke, but there was no intention of fraud and I deliberately failed to mention the charitable connection.  I wasn’t expecting the stramash (and raid) that ensued.

 I've accepted that 'R Murdoch’s drawers’ and ‘Miley’s knockers’ are open to misinterpretation. Clearly ‘U Boat’s beanbag’ was a typo. With hindsight, posting ‘Plughole from Child’s shower’ was probably not my finest idea. I still haven’t got my computer back from the police.